is Vibration Evolution:
Music/Lyrics/Poetry
Check out my (really old) stuff at: GREEN STRIPSTER (MySpace)
CONTENTS
1. Sister of the Desert
2. Violence on Boulevard Montparnasse (spoken word)
3. Sammy Was Afraid
4. Pimp Daddy Craig
5. Compulsion (mural/sculpture poem – gallery 2007)
6. Street Lamp Gospel
7. Anthropophagique (mural/sculpture poem – gallery 2007)
8. Icarus Reborn (*my personal favorite*)
9. What I Know About Jack (spoken word)
10. Chinagirl Only Visa (created for and performed at the SULU Series)
11. Untitled (collage poem – zine publication 2005)
12. Eve’s Apology (acoustic guitar, myspace)
13. Picture Perfucked (spoken word – competition 2004)
14. Angelina Human Clay
15. Friday Evening Over Grande Caramel Mochiatta (CreateNow 2004, Asian American Writers Workshop)
16. [Name Omitted] (Dedication to a lost friend, Columbia Tablet 2008)
17. Zoloft Mama, Adderall Son
18. Ma Dawn A / Whore (pastiche, AP English 2005)
19. New York Trash (surreal estate 2008)
20. Rant #209 (part of 365 rants series)
21. I Love You Mama But You Think I’m Bad
22. Ode to Morpheus, Morphine, Morph (Rant #2 of 365)
23. The Other Children
24. Roses in Concrete
25. Tiny Rant #15 (part of a 365 rants series)
26. Mary Was A Liar (final project, DubSpot Electronic Music Production program)
27. Tiny Rant #119 (part of 365 rants series)
28. Mistress Barbie (piano composition, stop action lego video)
29. Perspective Writing Exercise (Columbia Writers Workshop 2005)
30. Johnny Tries to Save Me (Country “Make-Fun!” Contest 2008)
31. Promises Maybe
32. Reciprocate
33. Drop the Magazine (hip hop “make-fun!”)
34. Frame My Rebellion
35. I Hate Hello Kitty (acoustic at the bowery poetry club)
36. Roaches and Boys (track used by beefoo in video competition)
37. Empty Core (made up on the spot with Carl on guitar at the Bowery Poetry Club)
38. Boy Carver (drum circle on the roof of Surreal Estate 2008)
39. For Joey (simple piano composition, in imitation of Bach’s 2-part inventions)
40. Like Rain On Mi Corazon (written for beefoo in Guatemala on guitar & marimba)
41. Paper Girl (track by Jerone Hsu, sang in Chinese opera style)
42. Bye-bye Bisexual (N’SYNC remix)
1. Sister of the Desert
(Lyrics & Vocals by Viveka Lor@X, Music and production by Richard Courage and Viveka Lor@X)
…for the hundreds of women found murdered outside of Juarez, Mexico…
Bones in the desert
Little girls’ hands
Fossilized secrets
Vanish in sands
Sunset oceans
Waves of blood
Drown out the witness
Beneath guilty mud
But our stolen teardrops will not be silenced…
Our stolen teardrops will not be silenced…
Who made these scars?
Who made this dust burn?
Collapsed all her castles
To rust turn by turn?
Red desert sunset
Cloud-ruptured skies
Wind in the sand dunes
Little girls’ cries
But my stolen teardrops will not be silenced…
My stolen teardrops will not be silenced…
2. violence on boulevard montparnasse
(spoken word with drum machine)
every day is a violence. mornings are of no nutritional value. plates stacked in the sink. knives and soap. old crusts of bread like guilty underwear. delicates to be hand-washed. a half-smoked cigarette by a half-opened window.
one walks in the rain to work.
one works through the wet cement, brushes by the angry, the late, the barely competent. umbrellas rise and fall in a blink of consent: sometimes you take the bottom, and sometimes you take the top. sometimes the metal jabs, and the fabrics rub distractedly, making hasty love like the married. no kisses. one stops, and, one excuses oneself.
one checks at one’s watch. one has things to do. one always does it wrong. and always, one murmurs to oneself that if it were not for these things, why, next time it would be all right. and then the hour pools and drips like a dying candle.
but sometimes it does not. sometimes you tap the wet cement and all of a sudden there is an undivided thought.
a pale, unhurried girl passes under the small protection of an umbrella. chance twinkles and ticks your eye, and bombs:
why don’t I unzip my fly for you? you yell!
wop? she is reduced: a backpack, and a japanese shock. you sacrifice yourself to free her world. you’ve flashed her your body, baptized by rain. and she is a white dandelion, suddenly blown out.
to step in a puddle is to mutilate your reflection. to scream is to state the obvious. she is sixteen and you have just ruptured her poetry. what do you do?
how do you do? She cries.
crying is stating the obvious. it rains. you go to your job. and you sit at your desk.
at home the fridge hums like a gas chamber. when you contemplate, you contemplate the obvious. your ash tray is full.
it doesn’t help that you’ve given yourself to the sky, nor that you’ve made a dandelion fly. again, you are you.
you cut yourself a note. today was your day.
3. Sammy Was Afraid
(Intro)
There’s no greater illusion than fear
There’s no greater wrong than to have to prepare
For an enemy that just isn’t there
You’re only safe when you stop being scared
(Verse 1)
There’s weapons all over your floor
You’re tripping on yourself as you try to reach the door
Don’t you know that you look like a fool
Put away your gun, or you will become their tool
You’re piling up your stocks cuz you’re scared of the shock
But when you line your pockets, there’s no room for your cock
Your semen’s dripping down to your shoe
Making puddles so toxic that they turn the ground blue
(Chorus)
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy
Can you tell me
Where to find some decency?
Your eye is staring out from the currency
Scheming pyramids but barely balancing
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy
(Verse 2)
Your vomit on the sidewalk looks so pretty to me
Glittery like all the visions that you’re spitting falsely
The cracks that you stand on are all broken backs
Mothers and their children in shackles and jacks
But you’re kicking rocks, and you’re jumping chalk
You act like a child and you talk like a jock
Tell me, who is it that you’re getting ready to attack?
While you’re sharpening your knife on your mother’s back?
CHORUS
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy…
(OUTRO)
There’s no greater illusion than fear…
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy….
4. Pimp Daddy Craig
(Intro)
You know you’re in a really bad place
When you email blurry pictures of your face
Cuz you’re broke and you’re in need of a G-I-G
And you find yourself a job under E-T-C
(Chorus)
Oh Craig is the name of your pimp daddy…
Craig is the name of your pimp daddy…
He’s gray like the hair of your sugar daddy
But he’s crazy connected get your sugar quickly
(Verse 1)
Strip club, dungeon, happy massage
Find your inner goddess in an underground lodge
Find your inner slut, love your inner bitch
Help a dirty motherfucker scratch his seven year itch
If you’re low on cash and the market’s crashed
You can find the bankers chillin’ with their bailout cash
In the club of Queens with the Queen of Clubs
Getting’ stress stroked out with a body rub
If you’re a broke immigrant and a blond Russian
You can dance on the pole at a quarter to ten
Don’t say a word or you’ll look absurd
Just fly on South like a migrant bird
CHORUS
(Verse 2)
If you’re a model or an actress waiting for your big break
And you need a little cash to get your new boobs made
You can practice your audition in the VIP cage
Just go on and play on the NYC stage
If you’re a good college girl with bad financial aid
You can find a study buddy in your Uncle Craig
Don’t worry nobody’s gonna know your name
Get your BA baby, you can leave the game
Shimmer on the stage while your candle’s bright
All up in a smoke when you blow the light
What burns twice as bright burns in half the time
What you gonna do when your run out of lime
CHORUS
Roxanne does what Roxanne loves
Cuz Roxanne loves her rocks and dust
CHORUS x2
5. compulsion
(mural & sculpture poem – gallery 2007)
present off the ground
past took wind
and squeezed into a furious little ball
the moment
which, weakly protesting, might as well throw in the towel
masticated like beef jerky
flash, the signs carried by smiling, oiled bodies
the bell, the blood, the whispers to begin
throws his life blood, against
the ideas of life, the ideas of blood to fling oneself against one’s ideas of self
and in the bubbling
battleground, lose one
the vanquished lies in the arena, basked in sun, ready for all
the tiger sinks in its cage, the crowd lifts up its thumbs
the winner stands in a pool of blood
we all endure freedom ridiculous: the scores had already been published
yesterday
the ink had melted the press
and you were sitting in the editor’s chair
all this time, wondering what to do with the photograph
6. Street Lamp Gospel
(Verse 1 – sang by Viveka)
Walkin’ under streetlights
Sweet tights, weeknights
Brothers hustling delights
Fistfights, fast flights
Roll your window down, love
I’m fond of found love
Fifty rose a round love
Tongue love, no glove
Drive me round the town, John
I need to time to rebound
The song in the background
Makes me want to weep now
See the city sleep now
The lights how they creep round
Lonely as the street clown
Cuz deep down they all frown
(CHORUS)
Street lamp gospel, prayer on my lips
Shivering shadows in a twilight kiss
Echoes on sidewalks, hollow as the breeze
Echoes in my bones as I fall to my knees
Lonely as the dawn draping over city streets
Washing out the night as it seeps into my feet
Oh the yellow light is flowing over me
All I have, my heart, is a glowing honesty
(Verse 2 – sang by Joshua Slusher)
Walkin’ under streetlights
Freak sights, weak bites
Sisters hustling delights
Deep heights, fist right
Tell me what you want, man
I can’t stand a gaunt man
Fifty rose a flaunt, friend
Tongue, hand, wrong end
Drive me round the town, John
I need to time to rebound
The song in the background
Makes me want to weep now
See the city sleep now
The lights how they creep round
Lonely as the street clown
Cuz deep down they all frown
CHORUS
(Verse 3 – Joshua & Viveka)
J: Girl, you have cold hands
Ghost hands, hold hands
V: I’ve got a lot of plans
Freelance, far lands
J: You sink in quicksand
The nights end a nightstand
V: But I know a knight and
He might be my Tarzan
J: Pray on your stars then
V: I’ll be your star-send
J: I’ve got my scars, friend
V: I’ll be your scar’s end
J: I’ll be your home
V: Me? I’ll be your homey
Both: I hope you can hold me
The sunrise is holy
CHORUS
Street lamp gospel, prayer on my lips
Shivering shadows in a twilight kiss
Echoes on sidewalks, hollow as the breeze
Echoes in my bones as I fall to my knees
Lonely as the dawn draping over city streets
Wash away the night as it seeps into my feet
Oh the yellow light is flowing out of me
All I have, my heart, is a glowing honesty
7. anthropophagique
(mural & sculpture poem – gallery 2007)
and that was the hole out which came hope
and those were the words, the phantoms, the 123456
that became language
that became bibles
that became all of this
chewing, tearing, hunger became the words
which is all nothing except the spit, the shit, the spit, the shit of society
what we call 10000000000000000000 human beings
who have idea enough to call themselves human beings
and language enough to utter those sounds
and people enough to propogate
w and then h and then aaaaaa
tell it to me like i am a baby
tell me the ha the ha ha the halves that become wholes the ho the hope
tell me the rhymes that become rhythms and castles that become law
you are the hole between my thoughts
we are the space between our lives
le trou
and i eat
and i eat
and i eat
and i eat
and i eat
i eat myself into me.
8. Icarus Reborn (my personal favorite)
Verse 1 (A)
Daddy at the window
Collecting wings for free
Feathers for his wishes
Make perfect dreams for me
I sit and watch him glue my destiny
“I got it figured out now,”
He made a chart for me to see
“Follow my directions,
“Don’t fly too far away from me”
But I don’t want to be ordinary
Prechorus (B)
I felt the sun shine down my back
I felt my wings begin to crack
And in a moment of ecstasy
I felt my whole world slip from me
Prechorus (C)
But now I’m swimming in the sea
And I’m still flying, flying free
Daddy Daddy, don’t you worry
The water’s deep, but I’m happy
Chorus
Icarus Reborn
As a dolphin in the ocean
Icarus Reborn
Angel fallen from the heaven
Icarus Reborn
As a dolphin in the ocean
Icarus Reborn
So I’ve fallen, but I’m floatin’ free
VERSE 2 (A)
Daddy don’t you mourn me
I’m not dead, I’m only underground
You’re in a rush to bury
Our memories just ‘cause I’m not around
PRECHORUS (B)
Well I can see why you’re ashamed
I’ll stay fancy and change my name
But when I hide, I’ll love you all the same
When you hide, I love you all the same
PRECHORUS (C)
But know: I’m swimming in the sea
And I’m still flying, flying free
Daddy daddy don’t you worry
The water’s deep, but I’m happy
CHORUS
Icarus Reborn…
Outro
The water’s cold, and dark, and deep
I’m lost in all the mystery
There’s miles to go before I sleep
There’s no way I can say sorry
My daddy chose for me the air
But I prefer the water here
It’s who I am, where I have to be
The highs and lows, my destiny
9. What I Know About Jack (spoken word)
I peeled away the brown paper of the Kahlua bottle. I tossed the bottle against the dirty frat wall. I imagined a smash, a splash, and all the glass shards like rock and roll on the brown carpet, but instead the bottle bounced, in tact, twice, and rolled limply on the floor, next to Jack’s feet.
(This disappointment was too great for me, and I left the apartment. Two steps to the door, and no one noticed.)
Meanwhile, Jack’s friend was still sitting on the couch, watching the Arabian girl who was now eating popcorn and grinning at her naked girlfriend. He, jealous, too was disappointed – this night of broken promises, and facebook pokes. Jack began to snore, and Jack’s friend took a tissue paper and snuffed him out.
This is how Jack died.
At the funeral, his high school friends had a lot to say. And some underclassmen who never knew him, but heard of him from friends or was friended by him on facebook. And Jack would have been happy to know that overall, he was a well-liked man. His creepiness was attributed to his friendly spirit, and his acne was attributed to his incompetent doctor who didn’t know jack about skin conditions.
His friend, who accompanied him in his death throes, swore to a fantastic ending: white girls in Arabian dresses that they met in a club downtown, and partied with all night long until they crashed at Jack’s room, from exhaustion.
10. Chinagirl Only Visa
(Intro)
Battery Battery $1, DVD DVD $10
(Verse 1)
Your cousin wants to come to ‘Merica
Said my mama, can you find a friend to marry her
She not very smart can not study abroad
But she cooks and she cleans like a Kitchen God
Your cousin very pretty, got very big eyes
So big she catch American guy
Don’t you have a doctor friend who needs a wife
Bring him to your cousin, he’ll be happy for life
(Chorus)
Battery Battery $1, DVD DVD $10
Chinagirl Chinagirl only Visa, only Visa, only Visa
Some things in life money can’t buy
Other things in life only Visa
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala, lalalalala Only Visa!
(Verse 2)
But mama I said, she only speaks Chinese
Don’t worry, said my mama, she’s got expertise
She’s so sweet, she can cure disease
She’s sure to bring any guy to his knees
But wait a minute, mama, I’m no pimp for love
Who said love, just Visa enough!
Your cousin very tired working on a farm
And this is why, you have to help her come
CHORUS
11. Untitled
(collage poem – zine publication 2005)
It kind of works like a flood – makes a fine mess of me, then disappears into the air; leaves a shock-trail residue of beaten homes and rotten foundations. And every guilty water molecule, indistinguishable from every other, escapes capture and outsmarts blame. The waves recycle and rewind for a second play, elsewhere in the world.
He kind of works like a flood. He crashes. Then he evaporates, like email evaporates into the world wide web, like feelings evaporate, totally, with time and words.”Everywhere and nowhere.” (cold. foggy. empty.)
Such is the sight of water after flood: an intangible threat that pervades all! Not the dangerous flood water but its masked clandestine allies, the everyday water, surrounds the poor, befuddled locals with their beaten homes and rotten foundations. It teases and tortures them – every rainfall, a practical joke; every morning mist, an ironic reminder: that people are 65% water, that clouds are pleasant to look at, that we love to swim. So holds the memory of ravage in every bedtime cup of tea…
But what you gave me was just the conclusion I needed. Thank you. I won’t write you again.
I work kind of like a flood – insanely, and then not at all. This week I’ve been madly digging for a well, a sanctuary for my memories. The flood is over, and I’m okay. I’m standing in the chaos, calculating my losses, and making practical plans to rebuild.
12. Eve’s Apology
(Verse 1)
Do you remember when things were sweet?
When we sat as the water brushed by our feet?
And we pledged “I love you” as we held our hands?
When love was just as simple as our names in the sands?
How I long to return to those easy days!
When we sat in the grass in the summer haze -
And we’d hold each other tight, swore our love was pure!
Said we’d be together always, darling, that’s for sure.
I never thought our love was immature.
(Chorus)
First love was a gift, was a garden tree.
First love was as blind as it was free!
I offer you my deepest apology.
And hope that we can one day recreate
Our garden here in this reality.
(Verse 2)
How could there be so many things that we didn’t see?
We thought the world was made for just you and me!
Oh, it was I who was tempted, I who betrayed
And all the complications were mistakes I made
Now the fruit has been taken from the garden’s tree
And I’m banished here to toil with your memory
And I know I must grow, and work to love each day
For the sweat on my head is the price that I pay
I never thought our love would end that way.
CHORUS
13. picture perfucked
(spoken word – Urban Word NYC Slam Finalist 2004)
This obsession is fading like a backwards Polaroid.
What was once as clear as law withdraws from me – splotches of color and thinning lines where all the walls should be. And all you offer me’s a faraway face and mumbles near apology. Don’t apologize. You don’t understand a thing. We speak in faulty metaphors, gaming poetry. All very sleezy and tame – our last investments, for equality.
But this is not me. This is not what I want. And I’m done finishing this nonsense…
What is love, you ask me? What is love? Love is above that line you draw, above your calculated sarcasm. LOVE fills the empty spaces. Love unnames the good and bad, love releases. It picks up all the doubtful pieces, shattered mirrors, haunted houses. Love embraces. Love FILLS the empty spaces. Love melts away the lining of the ego, of the “I want” and the “I believe” and the “I do as I want and believe,” and connects two histories, two wills, two beliefs. Love is touch. Touch of two realities! The only cure for this human tragedy, separateness, our inward eyes, this keyhole narrative, alone, this mortality. Love ends through creativity the contradictions of rationality. Love tends to us, it mends through us. It’s tenderness. Love fills THE empty spaces. But love needs commitment, needs courage, feeds growth. When you grow yourself in love, it builds us both. And drawing on each other, we draw close. Love fills the EMPTY spaces. It forgives its own clichés. Keeps its own time, minds its own find. Yet so ruthless when betrayed. Love fills the empty SPACES. When love leaves, it leaves a gaping hole.
I feel the wind blow through me, through that splotched, withdrawing hole. You toss our photo, and you’re cut. But I’m stuck, freezing here with these damn metaphors. Fuck poetry. I’ve got nothing new. Except this fucking poetry.
14. Angelina Human Clay
(Intro/Chorus)
Angelina sits on her doorstep
Not so much an angel anymore
She tiptoes down to hide in the basement
And lays her tired body on the floor
(Verse 1)
She thinks of all the lonely men
Who wander in her smoky den
Their hungry eyes direct the way
Their fingerprints on her human clay
And curious her body was…
CHORUS
Angelina sits on her doorstep…
(Verse 2)
And maybe she enjoys the game
And maybe she don’t feel no shame
And maybe it’s empowerment
She’s not the object she presents
But curious her body was
Like winter hands in rubber gloves
She molds herself to match their gaze
And iron maiden in a cast of haze
And curious her body was…
CHORUS
(Verse 3)
Oh the night was such a lonely climb
The slowly creeping hands of time
The leaping lights that fill her face
Would shock her feelings into place
But curious her body felt
Like an ice cube that could never melt
For man could never penetrate
An iron maiden with a heart of clay
And curious her body was…
(Outro)
What is right and what is wrong?
The fingerprints on my fishnet thongs
The men who place their gold rings down
The little girls they ship around
In Bangkok and in Amsterdam
The human clay of Uncle Sam
No no it’s not the same
No no I can’t be blamed
Am I strong to own myself?
Or am I just an Uncle Tom?
No, no it’s not the same
15. Friday Evening Over Grande Caramel Mochiatta
(CreateNow 2004, Asian American Writers Workshop)
Your fingers were locked with mine,
across the checkered Starbucks tabletop.
The coffee steamed between our faces,
and rose with our breath to fill the room.
We tapped our toes to the swelling jazz,
and slowly, gently, we let the week unravel and relax.
“Your eyes are like a planetarium…” you said,
“…your voice is like a waterfall,” I said.
Dipping into each other’s worlds,
we found our complete reflection.
When you smile, I can feel your dimples,
and your skin remembered on my fingertips.
I think of how our noses fit together when we kiss,
how my breath starts where yours ends, alternating.
How you melt everything to honesty, undress the anxious pretensions,
relieve me, lift me, so I’m raw, red, renewed, unashamed!
“Do you love me?” you’d ask, though you know,
“I love you,” I’d answer, and I know.
And we’d walk out into December Broadway,
giddy because your hand suits mine.
16. [Name Omitted]
(dedication to a lost friend, Columbia Tablet performed 2008)
What is it like, [name omitted], beyond the borderline?
Braving valiantly before us – can you hear me now?
I feel your soul as in an airwave, tingling in the space I breathe .
I clutch at notes of you, jazzy waves of you, in a foreign frequency.
Try to tune in to the sky, where I’m sure you are the moon.
Feel you spreading like an airwave, reaching through the space I breathe.
Know you deep inside my lungs, feel you well up in my chest.
I know it’s you, [name omitted], when my heart beats in protest,
Because you surge inside of me, like a spirit come to rest.
Because you surge inside of me, like a spirit come to rest.
One.
How to be when it makes no sense!
This
Crying room!
All the living gathered around in prayer.
The wrinkles of the rabbi turning up down up in a word.
Let us try to remember…
We who are breakable,
Question the death that is crashable,
Call for you
Tears like a wine glass breaking – All of our numbness spilling over the table
Where you used to be. Now occupied by our own fragility.
Drowned hearts in prayer bobbing up down up
Wish you a good journey a good journey
An unknowable time
Lungs shattered out of breath
Whisper up down up
Things we depended on
Confused about the clock
No
lines to draw you up!
No lines to draw you up on,
Spread across your chest!
On the street they blocked off the area.
Were you down up?
Or immediate?
Two.
Heavy is a mother’s heart that sees her own child leave.
Like a naked tree in winter in a browning pile of leaves.
Branches reach out to the clouds through the cold November air.
Hands outstretched to claim the warmth that should be hers but isn’t here.
Heavy is a father’s heart that sees his own child fall,
Who has grown to be the best of him, and grown to be so tall.
Tired hands that raised a son, and lifted lovingly a man.
Enduring wings that fold and ache, in abbreviated span.
Heavy is a sister’s heart that wanders brother-less, alone,
When the photos that promised futures bright now promise the unknown.
Empty hands that held a sidekick’s with the same mischievous grin
Now must search exhausted albums for the joy that’s left within.
Hands link hands and hearts link hearts, and they are strong as strong can be.
The steady winter bird brings a new picture to his tree.
Hands link hands and hearts link hearts, and they are strong as Strong can be.
Three.
I wonder if you’re in the pen I hold, if you’re guiding me,
My confidante, as you promised to be.
I remember the old conversations, after homework, before bed,
How we elaborated on our goodbyes!
Waxed philosophical, I did, to impress you.
We talked about time, we had a theory
That time was not linear but spherical.
That memories which we depend on, to measure our lives
Are in fact just like the scenery, held only at a certain point in time:
Who knows who we will be a second from now.
We wouldn’t remember, ‘cause our memories would be different, our histories ever-changing with each passing moment in time.
For if time is a sphere, then the future could be the past.
You are alive and all possibilities exist at once, every lifetime connected to infinite others,
A thick thick ball of chance.
In Chinatown, you held me in your lap, sitting on the benches of Kim Lau Square.
All the old Asian ladies staring at your yellow hair.
You kissed me and told me that the imprint is forever.
But forever is a circle, I said, and there’s no end to memory.
Life is energy and love is its transmission. Energy is converted never lost, so love is heat!
The atoms of our bodies will return back to the Earth,
And there, another Adam, another eve.
We flow through all the organisms of the world: life like a river, being like a stream. Up and down a spiral staircase, reconstructing all its steps, and never twice the same!
And consciousness, we reasoned, must be energy, not form.
Our consciousness will ever be reborn, different names.
Such is Hindhu Atman, you explained to me, Buddhist reincarnation, the rebirth of Jesus Christ.
[Name Omitted], you are energy.
You flow from the potential to kinetic, and you are flowing still.
But here I am, and I remember you.
Life is energy and love is its transmission.
And even if there’s no life after death,
There certainly is life after love.
What is it like, [Name Omitted], beyond the borderline?
Braving valiantly before us – can you hear me now?
I feel your soul as in an airwave, tingling in the space I breathe.
I clutch at notes of you, jazzy waves of you, in a foreign frequency.
Try to tune in to the sky, where I’m sure you are the moon.
Feel you spreading like an airwave, reaching through the space I breathe.
Know you deep inside my lungs, feel you well up in my chest.
I know it’s you, [Name Omitted], when my heart beats in protest,
Because you surge inside of me, like a spirit come to rest.
Because you surge inside of me, like a spirit come to rest.
17. Zoloft Mama, Adderall Son
(Verse 1)
Zoloft Mama wakes up sad
Tells her baby that he’s doing bad
Look at all your no-good grades!
Takes her baby to the pharmacaid
(Chorus 1)
Oh Doctor, Doctor, can you fix my child
I think my baby’s acting wild
Here’s a pill, here’s a pill
If you’re ill I got the skills
(Verse 2)
Adderall Kid is confused at school
Sells his pills to feel more cool
All the big kids think he’s dumb
They give him money to buy some rum
But Adderall Kid soon adds it all up
Trades his beans in for harder stuff
Six years later, he’s stuck in jail
Adderall Kid is begging for bail
(Chorus 2)
Your honor, your honor, let me fix my life
I learned my lesson, don’t gimme no strife
Nah you failed, nah nah you failed
If you can’t post bail, then you go to jail
(Verse 3)
Zoloft Mama and Adderall Son
Are just your average Americans
Chemical like the air we breathe
Comical like our dying trees
A tree in Brooklyn spreads its seeds
Reaching below the Bushwick weeds
But if it’s toxins that you feed
In your poison I will bleed
If it’s toxins that you feed
In your poison I will bleed
Harmless nonsense on the radio…
Harmless nonsense on the radio…
Harmless nonsense on the TV screen…
Harmless nonsense on the radio…
If it’s toxins that you feed
In your poison I will bleed…
18. Ma Dawn A / Whore
(pastiche, AP English 2005)
A rat crawled out Her sour spot, and decked in colored suit,
Was wrinkled, arrogant, and foul, heavied from finding fruit.
And satisfied, he shed his skin as Serpent had his guise,
This little atom of a Grace was naked of his prize.
For he had fought and won his war, was hero of his garden!
And sailing home to Argos now, his victory was ardent.
Cassandra, Clytemnestra, oh whatever name – he knew it!
And knowing Good and Evil both, he upped his jeans, and flew it.
And angry Jill, who tumbled still, is lonely in descension,
For She, woman, just as Eve, bears beauty only virgin.
It matters not how broad the leaf, how charged the Serpent’s venom
She is the sinner preordained: she is the salt of Sodom.
Oh, Second Thought of God, look not back to feel the falling!
Forget the face of Gabriel, forget this unfair walling.
Renounce the shame, forget his name, and be not Dido driven!
The gift if it was yours to give, is yours to be forgiven.
19. New York Trash
(for Telly’s Open Ring series at Surreal Estate! 2008-2009, haha)
(Chorus)
Garbage on the streets, we are the tracks beneath your feet
We eat the food you will not eat
We share at the Surreal retreat
We take your junk, we make it gold
We’re getting young, you’re getting old
You’re what you crave, we’re what we save
You are a slave, we are the wave
(Verse 1)
You waste on cars
You waste on bling
You waste your life on tasteless things
You waste the Earth
You waste your worth
You waste your health waiting for birth
You watch your prime time TV
And read your fashion magazines
You’re bored as hell
You’re scared as shit
You bought your house on bad credit
Your son is sad
Your daughter’s bad
Your diet drug is just a fad
It will not work
You will not change
You think it’s time to rearrange
But can you stop
Before you shop?
Or do you have to reach the top?
Do you have to see it flop?
Before you stop?
CHORUS
Garbage on the streets, we are the tracks beneath your feet…
(Verse 2)
You think you’re good, you think you’re fast
You think this shit is gonna last?
You think you’re right, you think you know
But do you know where we must go?
Sixty hours at a job that you don’t like
To get a bunch of shit that you don’t need
That other people made in your slavery
So you can pimp your grave with your friends of greed
But even when you slave you can just get by
With the credit that you caved at age 25
Distract yourself with movie stars and porn porn porn
Take drugs to escape, Go to church to get reborn
But I don’t want your purity
What I hate is hypocrisy
I don’t want your chastity
I need to choose for my own body
I don’t want your charity
But I wanna be free from your slavery
You call your invasion development
But who can you save when you don’t listen
Stop sellin’ your weapons to the dictators
For an open door to your trade favors
I don’t want your bling bling game
I think your Gucci bags are lame lame lame
Cause you paid a lot of money for the same same same
Cheap shit I get for free with a different name
Can’t you see how crazy is your hungry vanity?
Your ass is getting kick by your own insanity
There’s poison all around us in the air that we breathe
But you keep on running like a dirty rat thief!
(Outro)
Rockabye banker, on the street top
When the Wall blows, the index will drop
When the Dow breaks, the stock points will fall
And down will come banker, cradle and all
20. Rant # 209 (part of 365 rant series)
who is having fun?
i’m staring at the date. the shocking makes me cry. i want to shatter the clock and spill all the glassy numbers over my cowering body. i want to hold time to me. not as a measure of productivity – for suddenly i see nothing and i’m humbled so deep – But as a measure of dignity.
i question what is right in me. (and this investment’s more than all of me.) i don’t know where the differences lie between these souls and skins! but i’m not touching anything. i’m not feeling anyone. i’m just trickling emotionality, hit occasionally by bits and pieces of a chinese water torture reality: the excruciating rhythm of knowledge and self-discovery. and the sensation overwhelms me when it falls. i’m hovering excitedly over muffled, dark serendipity – accidentally skimming mechanic progress.
no thanks to conceptions, misconceptions, and re-conceptions of youth. that double-edged word, and the well-researched, well-dissected sciences that serve.oh, educate me, world! apparently, when i’m most lost, it’s most typical, and most dismissable. provide no solutions. expect no variables. we are young! (we have all our lives to forget.) we are capable!
you’re right. I am capable. of more than you detect. engrave that. perseverence is my fortunate escape. and i am stronger and far more tender than you know. my gift is all.
who isn’t having fun? i’ve been Love. i’ll do.
21. I Love You Mama, But You Think I’m Bad
(Verse 1)
Mama and I don’t talk no more
We live on opposite roads
She lives in a house with a pretty pink door
And I live in my scarlet studio
Mama’s bed is soft and gray
With flowers on her sofa flat
I live out of a suitcase full of lingerie
And pass out every night on my yoga mat
(Chorus)
Oh mama, have you ever loved a man, besides dad
Oh mama, have you ever chased the night, and felt glad
I’m sorry, I made you feel sad
I love you Mama, but you think I’m bad
(Verse 2)
I walk out to a city full of neon lights
Chasing freedom like a butterfly
But my mama wants me to dress in white
With a nice boy that she found in Shanghai
Well, I don’t care if Mama gets annoyed
In the end, I gotta do my thing
Cuz I like girls more than I like boys
And I ain’t never gonna wear a wedding ring
CHORUS
Oh mama…
22. Ode to Morpheus, Morphine, Morph (Rant #2)
Exhausted, every muscle in my body sinks
Into the bed, stretchy but dry, like old dough.
My chamber crumbles inward with each painful blink:
A hole in the sand, and all the grains run, fair and slow.
My pillow is a whirlpool where my senses slide.
Bottomless silk swallow my mind in sweet fiat.
Let blissful dark release me into Lethe tides:
All of my hair, in freeflowing streams, like wild thoughts.
23. The Other Children
(Verse 1)
You’ve been around the world
But you don’t even know the block you’re on
People are singing the saddest songs
Right underneath your window, girl
You’ve got an education
And you think you’ve got it all
But you don’t even have the balls
To pursue what you really want
(Chorus)
White collar prep school dollar
Can you hollar at me my Ivy baby?
(Verse 2)
You’ve worked to be the best
And starved to fit your dress
Those SAT’s, my lady
Were your life’s hardest test
And so what, it’s what you know
You’ve been so good, and darling
Darling, it shows
You don’t have to prove yourself anymore
CHORUS
White collar prep school dollar
Can you hollar at me my Ivy baby?
(Bridge)
Spinning around in the mirror
Are you happy now? Are you happy now?
Daddy’s got you under cover
But you just want him to take it back
Take back the part of me, the privileged
You say
Take back the part of me, the privileged
Oh, all those children in Africa!
Take back the part of me, the privileged
CHORUS x2
White color prep school dollar
Can you hollar at me my Ivy baby?
24. Roses in Concrete
Chorus
Whatever you want to have, I’ll give you
Wherever you want to go, I’m with you
(Verse 1 – Viveka & Joshua)
V: Baby it’s a jungle out there
You come home tired, with the moon in your hair
Take off your leather boots
I’ll be your shelter, I’ll be your prayer
J: I know the hours are rough
But your mind is strong, and your heart is full of love
And I will be by your side
You’re my partner in crime, you’re my red red glove
CHORUS
Whatever you want to have, I’ll give you…
Wherever you want to go, I’m with you…
(Verse 2)
V: Baby it’s a jungle out there
A tree grew in Brooklyn, and it’s spreading everywhere
J: But we’re like two seeds in a pod
We’ll get through the rhizome and fly into the air
V: We’ll keep each other on beat
J: I got your back when you’re walking on the street
Both: Maybe it’s a jungle out there
But we are the roses that grew in concrete
CHORUS (x3)
25. Tiny Rant #15 (part of 365 rant series)
The words have died, I’m dry in self-absorption.
The wind that blows the river keels the narcissist endeavors
Who upon closer reflection, politely withers
Away, for shame of wasted time
To waste more time for shame.
26. Mary Was a Liar
(final project for DubSpot Electronic Music Production program)
(Verse 1)
Mary was a liar, was a terrible liar
She couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop, couldn’t understand why
Even when she thought about it, when she opens her mouth
Out of it comes about just a web of lies
She was a sticky spider stuck in her own saliva
Sweet to herself like the Lady Godiva
But she knew sooner or later they’d all know she’s a conniver
She’s a doomed cash player, a dummy crash driver
(Prechorus)
And her friends
Aren’t her friends for very long
And her life spirals round
Like the chorus of a song
(Chorus 1)
She says CHANGE ME!
Can someone out there REARRANGE ME?
Every time I think I’m winning
I just go back to my sinning
Oh I wish that I could CHANGE ME…
(Verse 2)
Bobby was her boyfriend, was a very good boyfriend
Cuz he stuck around, he never fucked around, you see
And he really tried to save her, never wavered, he forgave her
But he couldn’t ever give her just what she needs
He was a lonely man in a crowded bedroom
Gave her everything he can but she just kept on her costume
At the end of the day, all he had was her perfume
Like a stain on his body, a flower that won’t bloom
(Pre-chorus)
And her friends
Aren’t her friends for very long
Cuz her life cycles round
Like the chorus of a song
(Chorus 2)
She sings CHANGE ME!
Can someone out there REARRANGE ME?
Every time I think I’m winning
I just crash and burn, I’m spinning
Oh I wish that you could CHANGE ME…
27. Tiny Rant #109 (part of 365 rant series)
red life lines flow nowhere, these are the promises
i sign to myself, drawing
natural paint for the perfect sunset
railroad tracks, scraping roses into the dusk
like a cowgirl, hiding
in dust and ghosttowns, the metal star
28. Mistress Barbie
(simple piano composition, stop action lego video)
(Verse 1 – sang by Joshua Slusher)
Mistress Barbie all in black
Carved train tracks on her lover’s back
Raised her chains up to the sky
Split the air with her battle cry
(Prechorus 1 – Joshua)
Take the train and run away
Perfect paint for my art parade
Phoenix rising from the flames
Born again with a different name
(Chorus 1 – Joshua)
Mistress Barbie give me my pain
Free me from the hurt in my brain
I just wanna worship your feet
Lose control to somebody sweet
Mistress Barbie give me my name…
(Verse 2 – Viveka & Joshua)
V: Off-duty he’s a CEO
A corporate lawyer with a stocked ego
J: Off-duty, she’s an art teacher
Confesses every Sunday to the town preacher
(Prechorus 2 – Viveka)
I take the train and run away
He’s perfect paint for my art parade
I’m phoenix rising from his flames
I’m born again with a different name
(Chorus 2 – Viveka)
Father, please forgive me my pain
Free me from the hurt in my brain
I just want to unbear this weight
Surrender to you all of my hate
Father, please give me my name…
(Verse 3 – Joshua & Viveka)
J: Off-duty she’s a Catholic School mess
V: Off-duty he’s a father to a girl undressed
J: His daughter sits at home looking like a saint
V: Picking up her scissors to draw natural paint
(Pre-chorus 3 – Viveka)
I’ll take this train and runaway
Natural paint for my art parade
Red phoenix rising from the flames
I’m born again with a different name
(Chorus 3 – Viveka)
Father, please forgive me my pen
Forgive me for the hurt that I’m in
I never meant to wander astray
But here I am and this is my way
I gotta say what I gotta say
Here I am, and this is my name…
29. perspective writing exercise
(Columbia Writing Workshop 2005)
——
3.
Oh, my poor baby! I go to the kitchen for just one minute, and that damn dog is all over Henry again. Stupid dog, what does it want? I’m gonna get George to call the vet, tonight. We really have to do something about that dog. The vet better cure the thing, or that’s one dog that’s sleeping in the shelter tomorrow.
What does the thing want now? Why does George like that smelly thing so much anyway?
Oh no! My fish is going to burn!
But wait, poor Henry. Oh Henry, he really does cry! Not like his sister, Babette. Babette was such a sweet baby.
Babette? Where’s Babette? I’ll get her to pick Henry up.
No, I should really do it myself. But my fish is going to burn.
30. Johnny Tries to Save Me
(country music “make-fun!” contest 2008)
To a countri-fied sample of “Roxanne” by The Police
(Verse 1)
Johnny tells me that I’m lovely
Tells me that he’ll always love me
Says he doesn’t want to share me
Says he’ll take the weight I carry
Johnny says that I’m too good
To throw away my maidenhood
Johnny says that I’m too smart
To let my future fall apart
(Chorus)
Johnny, Johnny tries to save me
Tells me to turn off my light
But the night belongs to me
What is it he doesn’t see?
Johnny, Johnny, it’s alright
It’s alright…<repeat>
(Verse 2)
Johnny tells me that I’m lovely
Tells me that he’ll always love me
Says he doesn’t want to share me
Says he’ll take the weight I carry
Johnny doesn’t want to share me
Says he’d would rather that I marry
Johnny, darling, wants to save me
Johnny, darling, would enslave me
CHORUS
Johnny, Johnny tries to save me…
(Bridge)
Victoria loves patriarchy
Moral mother matriarch me
Mary Mary quite contrary
Secretly loves to be carried
All the cons hate all the pros
And all the rads hate on pornos
But cons and pros are good in bed
Rads and pros are good as dead
But Cleopatra powerful
Is more real woman than you all
Cleopatra powerful
Is more real woman than you all
CHORUS x2
31. Promises Maybe
You wanna break up
I’m broken inside
But you can not take away
My love
You wanna be alone
Well, I’ll leave you alone
But you can not take away
My love
Love is my
Freedom, my
Love is my,
Choice, my
Love is my
Own to give, I rejoice
In knowing that
Even if everything else dies,
If I
Choose, my
Love shall live.
You wanna toss it aside
I’m gonna keep it inside
And when you heal, I’ll be
Your friend
You wanna go your own way
I’ll leave you with your new ride
But when the road ends, I’ll still be
Your friend
Love is my
Freedom, my
Love is my
Choice, my
Love is my
Own to give, I rejoice
In knowing that
Even if everything else dies,
If I
Choose, my
Love shall live.
Love is my
Art, my
Love is my
Pain, my
Love is my
Own to give, I rejoice
In knowing that
Even if everything else dies,
If I
Choose, my
Love shall live.
32. Reciprocate
(Intro)
You torture me with your silence
With your cold and teasing glare
You touch me with a breath of defiance
And I am naked like a prayer
(Verse 1)
I wonder when you’re gonna call me baby
I wonder when you’re goin’ be callin’
I send you six, seven texts on your cellular phone
And you are actin’ like you stallin’
Cuz you don’t ever take the first step
You make me call you every time, it’s embarrassing me
For every three emails that I send to you
I get three words back, the bare necessity
<Angry siren noise/p*nk hook>
Hey! You don’t know what you’re doin’!
Don’t know who you’re screwin’ with!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hate!
I don’t need a man who can’t reciprocate!
(Verse 2 – quiet)
And when I finally get you on the phone
You kill me with your sweet and sexy tone
And I don’t know if you be playin’ games
When I’m enjoyin’ you, I feel ashamed.
Cuz you don’t ever take the first step
You make me call you every time, it’s embarrassing me
For every three emails that I send to you
I get three words back, the bare necessity
<Angry siren – repeat>
Hey! You don’t know what you’re doin!
You don’t know who you’re screwin’ with!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hate!
I don’t need a man who can’t reciprocate.
(Outro – whisper)
You torture me with your silence
And your cold and teasing glare
You touch me with a breath of defiance
And I am naked like a prayer
But your silence gonna make me disappear…
But your violence gonna make me disappear…
33. Drop the Magazine
(for hip hop “make-fun!” contest 2008)
(Verse 1)
You ain’t gonna fool me when you say you’ve gone organic
Cuz the last time you were vegan was a diet and you panicked
When I heard the toilet flush as your tofu dinner swirled
To a place down in hell called “beautiful girl”
You don’t care about cows! You just wanna look fly!
I feel you, girl, but is it worth the tears you cry?
All the gear you buy? For your rear, your thighs?
All the times you don’t go out ‘cuz you fear – them fries?
You don’t have to run miles in the rain and pain
Obsessin’ over numbers that you ain’t attain
It’s them, not you, so don’t feel ashamed
One day, we will all be free from this game
(Chorus)
Sister you don’t have to be good
Don’t crucify your body with should should should
Just let yourself love what you love
Just let yourself eat what you love
Sister you don’t have to be good
Don’t crucify your soul with should should should
Just let yourself love who you love
And love those who love who they love
(Verse 2)
Drop the magazine, sister, claim your body back
It’s a mind rape, we must resist their attack
Nip, tuck, they invade the divine we are
Plant seeds in our minds that they sign with scars
And we wear their chains like designer scarves
Playin’ down our brains while the butcher carves
It’s a violence when we take their gaze for food
And for their gaze and their praise, we gave up our food
It’s a violence to make us feel the way they do
It’s a violence but what’s crazy is we do it too
It’s a suicide, we judge each other with their eyes
Drop the magazine, ‘cause the slavery’s inside
CHORUS
Sister you don’t have to be good….
(Bridge)
Whether you’re big-breasted or flat-chested
It’s all a prop fest, so don’t get obsessed with it
Don’t let yourself get possessed by the media
It’s all for cash and they’re getting’ real greedy yeah
Try to getcha to fitcha into a picture and admitcha
You’ll be featured like a creature from the scriptures
You’ll submit yeah
First they’ll teach ya, then they’ll leach ya,
Like a preacher from the bleachers
They don’t know you but they own you, will you take it? Or can you break it?
CHORUS x2
34. Frame My Rebellion
(Intro)
Hey, hey, hey, hey hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey hey
(Verse 1)
Look at her, she’s so damn trendy
Copy copy
Cuz your body’s caught me
Like every hipster on Bogart Street
Tryin’ not to repeat
As they bite your beat
But everywhere I look, it’s a spectacle
We’re too technical
to detect our goals
I’m watching you watching me watching you
Everybody watches two by two
(Chorus)
I shy away at the moment of fulfillment
I’ll fade away into my own destruction
‘Cause I just can’t trust you to frame my rebellion
‘Cause I just can’t win when you call it rebellin’
Without strengthenin’ the thing that I’m fightin’ against
You are the wall, I’m standing tall, above it all, but you can’t call it rebellion
(Verse 2)
Positive or negative, it’s all the same thing
We’re just reinforcing
The thing we’re fighting
So we gotta be sneaky and we gotta play nice
Just nod and smile as you pay the price
But don’t forget the mice
That are runnin’ on the wheel
‘Cause their wheel suffice
I know you, you just wanna capitalize
Right in front of my eyes
You would simplify my prize
You think I’m playin’, so I’ll play ya, playa real good
But my name is in the game that is misunderstood
So you can laugh, you can cry, all at my expense
If in the end, you’re the guy droppin’ dollars and cents
Hey hey hey…
CHORUS
I shy away at the moment of fulfillment…
(Bridge – Viveka raps)
It’s time, we let go of the broken toys, broken chains can’t hold down awoken joy
So make sound, break boundaries yoke employ
Claim ground, tune in, drop out, enjoy
Cuz who can tell ya better than yourself what’s cool
Bombshells on resellers with their shelves of tools
Cuz if you know the rules, there’s no rules at all
It’s the soldiers on the bottom that defend the wall
The kings on top, they’re not afraid of the fall
It’s the fear of truth that makes them talk so tall…
It’s the fear of you that will make them crawl…
(Outro)
There’s no right or wrong
It’s only what I learn when they preach
There’s no good or bad
It’s only who I touch when I reach
35. I Hate Hello Kitty
(acoustic live at the bowery poetry club)
(Chorus)
I hate hello kitty.
Cats with fat heads scare me.
Too much pink ain’t pretty.
Too much cute is tyranny.
(Verse 1)
I can’t stand your face
Cuz you ain’t even got any lips!
You look like you’re from outer space
Your mouth disappeared in the lunar eclipse!
So you can’t even smile.
And you definitely can’t speak.
So why do all the kids love you?
When you’re obviously a freak?
CHORUS
I hate hello kitty…
(Verse 2)
Why do Asian girls love you?
Why do Asians love school supplies?
You make it hard to be Asian
You make me wish I had a disguise.
Cuz the only thing scarier than the Asian girls who love you
Are the forty-year old white men who love you too
They like to look at pictures of Asian girls on YouTube
Wearing Hello Kitty go-go boots
Well…
CHORUS
I hate hello kitty…
(Bridge)
Here’s a message to the all the cutsy Asian girls
You know who you are, you make me wanna hurl!
Don’t whine, try to talk like you’re full grown
Exercise, put some muscles on them bones
Your eyes ain’t big, so stop stretchin’em
Or you will get yourself an aneurysm!
Don’t capitalize randomly, try to spell properly
If you can, leave the anime in Japan!
You need to get stronger, eat some raisin bran!
Or drop that hello kitty in the frying pan!
I’m serious! I’m sick of this deliriousness
Sanrio is the real imperiousness
If your feet ain’t bound, then bounce this curious mess
Don’t fake it like you’re weak, it makes me furious, yes!
It makes me really wanna kick some hello feline ass.
Just to show that a real female’s got some sass.
And a real Asian girl is as ill as she is fast
At chess, and math….
Goodbye kitty, hello wrath!
CHORUS x2
I hate hello kitty…
36. Roaches and Boys
(soundtrack used for beefoo’s video contest entry)
(Intro/Chorus)
roaches on my ceiling
roaches on my floor
this is why i don’t date boys anymore
(Verse 1)
you leave your coffee mug on my Persian rug
you leave your laundry on my new TV
you leave a cookie trail from my kitchen to my bed
and when i roll over, i get my elbow in your eggs
you can’t stop eating cheetos and using my PC
if you’re gonna play games, then at least go play the Wii
cuz baby you’re gettin real fat on me
you’re gettin real fat, you’re gettin fat on me
(Chorus)
roaches on my ceiling
roaches on my floor
this is why i don’t date boys anymore
(Verse 2)
you think you are so hot cuz you take a long time
but baby you ain’t got the moves, so it ain’t worth a dime
you’re tossin’ and you’re turnin’ your heavy ass on me
but when you’re done, i’m gonna find your little sister, V
hurry it up baby, i’m not gonna come
let’s get it over with, so you can go home
i’m not gonna come, no, i’m not gonna come
let’s get it over with, so you can go home
CHORUS x2
37. Empty Core
(made up on-the-spot with Carl on guitar live at the Bowery Poetry Club)
(verse 1)
At the core, there’s only silence
I’m out the door, but there’s your violence
I’m off the floor, and I am flying
At the core, there’s only silence
(very energetic hook!)
Cause all your dramatic excuses are only
Handprints on my sandy heart
And I won’t go drowning in your Titanic slowly
The waves turn again, and our chapter ends
In silence…
(quiet verse 2)
Oh cold cold love, we’ve frozen each other
Oh muted heart, there’s no sound to bother
We’ve bounced off one another
Clean like hands in rubber
(super-heavy knockin’ hook)
Cause all your dramatic excuses are only
Handprints on my sandy heart
And I won’t go drowning in your Titanic slowly
The waves turn again, and our chapter ends
I’m ready for a brand new start…
(bridge)
I’ve been too many times around those crumbled tracks
To not believe in tides when I run back…I run back…
(verse 3)
At the core, there’s only silence
I’m out the door, but there’s your violence
I’m off the floor, and I am flying
At the core, there’s only silence
The waves turn again, and our chapter ends
In silence…
38. Boy Carver
(drum circle on the roof at Surreal Estate 2008)
(verse 1)
Once I knew a boy who thought he had a hole
Thought he had a whole in his heart
He thought he had a knife
Thought he had a knife inside
Ripping him apart
He wouldn’t let me in
Wouldn’t let me take a look
To take a look at him
And every time I touched
Every time I touched his skin
He’d push me very far
(hook! – to the melody of “what do you do with a drunken sailor”)
Oh what do you do with a boy like that?
A boy like that? A boy like that?
Oh what do you do with a boy like that?
A boy with a knife inside?
I take him, and I shake him, and I pull out his knife
I take him, and I shake him, and I pull out his knife
I take him, and I shake him, and I pull out his knife
I pull out his knife inside.
(verse 2)
All his teachers and his boss
They couldn’t understand
Couldn’t understand his cool
And he was a piece a shit
Just a little piece of shit
A shitty punk hole at school
I tried to squeeze inside his hole
I tried to breathe inside his lungs
I tried to bleed to give him blood
I tried to bleed to give him soul
I tried to bleed to give him life
I tried to bleed to give him my life
(hook!)
Cuz what do you do with a boy like that?
A boy like that? A boy like that?
Oh what do you do with a boy like that?
A boy with a knife inside?
I take him, and I shake him, and I pull out his knife
I take him, and I shake him, and I pull out his knife
I hug him, and I love him, and I pull out his knife
I pull out his knife inside
(bridge)
He’s up and down, he hurts me too
He drags me round, yelling I love you
Says he wants me here to stay
Says please don’t ya go away
But I can’t! I can’t! I just can’t pull his pain away…
(bridge 2)
And every time I try to go
He hurts himself to tell me no
But I guess we both enjoy the pain
‘Cause we both! We both! We both keep coming back again…
(whisper-sung)
How can we love?
We’re so obsessed.
How can we give
What we don’t possess?
First, you gotta be free
First, I gotta be me
Before we can say we, forever
We gotta get the hell away from each other!
(hook!)
Oh what do I do with a boy like that?
A boy like that? A boy like that?
What do I do with a boy like that?
A boy with a knife inside?
It’s what I get with a girl like me
A girl like me. A girl like me.
It’s what I get with a girl like me,
A girl with a knife inside!
I take him, and I shake him, and I pull out his knife.
I take him, and I shake him, and I pull out his knife.
I hug him, and I love him, try to set him free.
‘Cause the knife is mine, you see.
The knife is mine, you see.
The knife is stuck in me…
(drum solos, then back to lead rhythm on djembe)
39. For Joey (1/7/09)
(piano composition, in imitation of Bach’s 2-part inventions)
Flood me with feeling
as light floods a room
and heat touches the Earth
and all the seeds curl open
in little green leaves tickling the sky with delicate whispers
Make love to me
with your eyes open
so that your ocean can touch
into my nerves and your sight
can isolate my body
in a circle
of safety
between
moonlit corners of the night
40. Like Rain On My Corazon
(for beefoo, the only man I’ve ever truly loved, written in Guatemala 2006 on guitar & marimba)
Fall into a river with me
Swim across the blue abyss
Climb back up onto the shoreline
Pull me to a perfect kiss
Oh, the clouds are rising, baby
Lifting up a spinning sun
Feel the sky tortilla round us
Till our bodies feel as one
(Hook)
Oh…my love…it’s ever-expanding…my love…
Ah…mi amor… levantamos…hacia el sol…
Oh…my heart…mi alma…like water it flows…
Onto your soul…like rain….on mi corazon!
El crepusculo cae sobre su cuerpo
Y revela el paisaje de mis ansias
Mi alma en sus valles esta naciendo
Mi carino hue como fuegos de sus montanas
Ah montanas, como canta su aliento
Ah sus manos, como aguanta el rio
Su amor me bana como las olas
Y sus besos volan sud como las pajaros!
(Hook, repeat, end)
Spanish translation:
The twilight falls over your body
And reveals the landscape of my desire
My soul is born inside your valleys
My care escapes like fire from your mountains
Ah mountains, how they sing, their wind
Ah your hands, how they endure the river
Your love bathes me like the waves
And your kisses fly south like the birds!
41. Paper Flower
(track by Jerone Hsu, sung in Chinese opera style)
(Verse 1)
Perfection is a paper flower I was taught to fold with care
Show one side and hide the other
Not all colors can be shared
Tuck away the shameful corners
Tear away the shameful layers
Close the windows, shut the doors
Be as good as you can bear…but
(Prechorus 1)
You can’t grow a perfect flower underneath a flight of stairs
You can’t grow a piece of paper filling it with wishful prayers
(Chorus)
I’m not a paper girl
And I won’t stay the way you fold me…
I’m not a blank white page
And I won’t hold the words you told me…
(Verse 2)
Roll a paper to my eyes
Tell me it’s a telescope
Tunnel vision not blue skies
Not blue ribbons but blue rope
Echoes in the tunnel walls
Tell my fortune, give me hope
In the darkness, paper dolls
Even shadows learn to cope…but
(Prechorus 1)
You can’t grow a perfect flower underneath a flight of stairs
You can’t grow a piece of paper filling it with wishful prayers
(Chorus)
I’m not a paper girl
And I won’t stay the way you fold me…
I’m not a blank white page
And I won’t hold the words you told me…
(Outro)
Light my paper, set me free…
Light my paper, set me free…
42. Bye-bye Bisexual
(N*SYNC remix, haha!)
(Intro)
Hey girl, we saw you walking hand in hand with some dude yesterday. That’s not cool. We’re tired of your swing-swanging ways, be straight with us. If you wanna be with us, then you can’t be with no guy. Cuz woman, we don’t wanna see you. If you’re bi.
Bye bi bye bi
Boop di boop boop boop di boop
Boop di boop boop boop di boop
(Verse 1)
Hey girl if you wanna hang girl with our gang girl
Then you gotta say girl, if you wanna play girl, who you gonna bang girl
Don’t think you’ll pull the wool over our eyes
We think that it’s about time you must decide
It’s venus or penis
Boop di boop boop boop di boop
Boop di boop boop boop di boop
(Verse 2)
Ooo girl if you wanna groove girl with our group girl
Then you gotta choose girl, or you’re gonna lose girl, cuz we’ll have you whooped girl
Don’t think you can have your cake and eat it too
Cuz we don’t want you fakin’ when we eat you
So it’s venus or penis
Boop di boop boop boop di boop
Boop di boop boop boop di boop
(Outro!)
Bye bi, Bye bi
Bye bye, Miss American bi
You did a number on my heart
When you left me for a guy
Now I’m too butch to sit around here and cry
So I’m gonna make the bastard die
Yes I’m gonna make the bastard die
Good Bi!
